Almost Weekly Santa Alter/Story

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Prologue: The Dark Santa

Show/Hide Story Chapter

Mash
I must say, Senpai, it's a great day for gift-giving———
and Chaldea is in Christmas mode!
Fou
Fou, fooou!
Mash
...Huh?
Senpai's gone, Fou.
Mash
Are you taking a shower, Senpai?
Or using the toilet?
Mash
How .... ..Nowhere to be found...
But there's no doubt Senpai was in this room...
Mash
There s no record of a heat signature leaving this room
in the last hour either? It's as if...
Mash
Clearly, there's been some kind of foul play here!
Let's go get the Doctor!

  1. —Huh?
  Select: —Huh?

Emerging from the Rayshift tunnel, your eyes were met
with the sight of a field blanketed in snow...

???
A most literary beginning. The use of the second-person
lends a certain subtlety to the sentence.
Don't you think, (Your Name)?

  1. That voice! Could it be—?!
  Select: That voice! Could it be—?!



Santa Alter
Ha! A lively response. I am possessed of a sudden desire
to kick you in your arse.
Santa Alter
Though our contract is but a temporary one,
any Master seeking to transport me must be as so.

  1. You were in the Massive Cavern?  2. A mi-miniskirt... Alter—
  Select: You were in the Massive Cavern?

Santa Alter
...No. This is my first meeting with you.
Can you not tell from my attire?
Santa Alter
I've certainly never been defeated by you,
and have, under no circumstances, been brooding over it.
Santa Alter
I was simply in a foul mood, especially my stomach.
All because Archer wouldn't cook a sound meal.
Santa Alter
...No, that is not it.
I am precisely as you see me to be.

  Select: A mi-miniskirt... Alter—
Santa Alter
...A m-miniskirt, you say?
Well, I suppose one could see it as such.
Santa Alter
But mind it not, and allow me to say this in advance.
One who would be Santa is unbothered by the cold!

Santa Alter
Allow me to introduce myself. I am Santa Alter.
I am a Santa Claus of Evil who slashes apart the icy
breath of Midwinter!
Santa Alter
...You seem to misunderstand me. I merely wish to
express my daily gratitude by delivering presents to all
Santa Alter
However— After going through the trouble of
gathering presents, I have lost my means of transporting
them.
Santa Alter
The reindeer that I had hired previously
to pull my sleigh have all run away in fear.
Santa Alter
What a bunch of cowards. All I did was use Excalibur
Morgan as a jet engine to propel us into the stratosphere.
Santa Alter
I could pull the sleigh myself,
but such a thing would tarnish the dignity of Santa Claus.
Santa Alter
I cannot capture the heart of children everywhere
without a reindeer. Which is why— You understand,
don’t you, good (Your Name)?
Santa Alter
It is for that purpose alone that I have unsummoned you
here by force.
Santa Alter
As a part of my daily gratitude to you,
I bestow upon you the honor of being my reindeer.

  1. This is part of your duty as a king?  2. You didn't have anyone else you could ask, did you?
  Select: This is part of your duty as a king?

Santa Alter
No. I am not a king here, but a Santa Claus!
Kindly refer to me in those terms.

  Select: You didn't have anyone else you could ask, did you?
Santa Alter
That is untrue! Of those I considered there was
one, at least, with promise!
Santa Alter
But they were rather hesitant, and worse yet,
extremely frail. Thus, l sent them packing.
Santa Alter
However, their eyes were so bright they would have
made a perfect red-nosed reindeer...
Santa Alter
Honestly... Even if it is Christmastime, one should have
limits to how much one lets loose.


Santa Alter
...No, wait a moment.
It seems the presents have drawn some uninvited guests.
Santa Alter
And I was in the middle of my presentation...
But there's nothing to be done about it. Take up your
sword, (Your Name).
Santa Alter
Your body shall know what it means
to go into battle with Santaa—!
After Battle'
Santa Alter
As you can see, many try to target Santa Claus.
Reindeer must be as strong as their master.
Santa Alter
Now then, you understand what I'm saying, don't you?
You are now my reindeer. I won't hear any objections.
Santa Alter
Rest assured, I am a Santa and not a demon.
If you work hard, I shall grant you your life, at least—

  1. Yes, ma'am, I'm ready to start right now!  2. Yes, Santa Alter!
  Select: Yes, ma'am, I'm ready to start right now!


  Select: Yes, Santa Alter!



Santa Alter
Humph! That was a quick response!
Are you a lion cub, unschooled in fear? How promising!
Santa Alter
Nonetheless, it was a good answer. I am pleased.
Now, let us start immediately.

1st Night: Little Darius

Show/Hide Story Chapter

Santa Alter
First, let us storm this house nearby.
As Santa, I must attack from the skies.
Santa Alter
Now, board the sleigh, Master!
I shall enlighten you on the ways of Santa!
Santa Alter
Forward, my soldiers! Tear through the darkness!
Plunge into the blizzard! Wander! Wander!

  1. This sleigh really flies through the air!  2. Why are you yelling?!
  Select: This sleigh really flies through the air!

Santa Alter
Naturally. One who would be Santa must be able to
traverse the skies. We must deliver presents to the
children around the world.
Santa Alter
I've dubbed this sleigh Llamrei Unit ll.
You may relax your guard and entrust yourself to it.

  Select: Why are you yelling?!

Santa Alter
lnsolent fool!
I am not yelling. I am singing!
Santa Alter
By announcing my presence this way, I can also avoid
running into airplanes! It's common sense for a Santa!


Santa Alter
Good. We are approaching our destination.
Prepare yourself, (Your Name).
Santa Alter
The return address of this "Dear Santa" letter is in
Persia. A request from Darius, aged 3.
Santa Alter
...Hmm. The writing is so black and smeared I can't read
it at all. Well, I'm sure once l see his face, I'll know what
present he'd like.
Santa Alter
Let us go! We shall enter from this maqnificent chimnev!
Lu Bu
▂▂▃▃▂▂!
▂▂▃▃▂▂!
Phantom
Ahh... The iron lament that surpasses the vocal cords...
Echoing from the depths of the hollow, the enamored yet
hate-filled voice of a young girl's lingering affections as
she "sings" of death...
Phantom
Specifically, I should call it the raging moans of a girl
who can no longer abide her hunger. Ahh, how unsightly
yet adorable—!
Phantom
Though it's a far cry from my own taste,
she conveys her feelings so well it truly pains me.
Phantom
A cry that would pierce Heaven itself. You who spews
forth such hatred, I'd liken you to... Yes, a carp swimming
up a waterfall.
Phantom
Actually, you are more like a carp banner. How
auspicious. Ahh, how very auspicious indeed... And
hateful, too!
Phantom
Christine! Christine has gone so far from me! Why? Why
does fate endeavor to tear us apart yet again?
Phantom
Couples! Christmas! Santa Claus! Whenever I hear
that this is a night for loved ones, it makes me sick!
Phantom
Don't you agree, Sir Carp Banner? Why must we,
upon such a night as this, be a company entirely of men?
Santa Alter
...What a ferocious cry from the soul. It stirs the heart too
greatly. Surely, that Servant is an actor of some renown.

  1. Yeah, that was quite an elegy  2. Ehh, it was certainly a self-indulgent soliloquy
  Select: Yeah, that was quite an elegy


  Select: Ehh, it was certainly a self-indulgent soliloquy



Santa Alter
What a splendid performance. He probably has more
passion in his pinky than that cursed Tristan...
Santa Alter
...But I can't imagine that either of them is Darius.
Also, that object in the middle of the floor...
Santa Alter
There's nothing here but that tree-like candle in the
center of the room. Does that mean Darius isn't here?
Santa Alter
That's fine, then. I should simply turn around and leave
now, but I do pity these two.
Santa Alter
Merlin has said that when a man is widowed, his
suffering surpasses the pain of Death. As Santa, I can't
just leave them be.
Santa Alter
Let us go, (Your Name)!
We shall be like the Christmas Carol that saved Scrooge!

Santa Alter
Bow down, little ones!
Prepare to receive your presents from me!
Lu Bu
▂▂▃▃▂▂???
Phantom
Oh, Christine!
You've come back to me, Christine!
Santa Alter
Ugh. Halt, Black Mantle!
Do not approach my reindeer.
Santa Alter
Laying hands upon your audience is a third-rate
performer‘s action. Are you not a world-class actor after
all?
Phantom
What? l, a world-class...actor, you say?
I, the specter of this miserable underground hovel?
Santa Alter
I never engage in flattery. You rave as though mad,
but your cries are filled with truth. So much so l am
moved to tears.
Santa Alter
But more importantly, where is the master of this castle?
The sender of this letter to Santa should be here.
Lu Bu
▂▂▃▃▂▂!
Phantom
Santa... Ahh, Beautiful One, what tragedy is this?
Now that I look more carefully, you are, indeed, Santa
Claus!
Darius Ill
Ohh... Oooohhhh!
Santa... Santaaaaaaa!
Santa Alter
?! This candle tree moves?!
You two, iust what is the meaning of this?
Lu Bu
▂▂▃▃▂▂!
Phantom
Die, please. Repent! And surrender what's in that bag!
Santa Claus is the one who should be struck from this
world!
Darius Ill
Oooohhhhh!
Presents! Gimme!
Santa Alter
Well! Only naughty little children try to take things by
force like that! We've no choice. Prepare to fight, (??)
Santa Alter
After all, it is also Santa's duty
to give dreamy-eyed children a cold jolt of reality!

  1. Yeah, but I don't see any "little children" here!  2. Santa's more violent than I'd imagined!
  Select: Yeah, but I don't see any "little children" here!


  Select: Santa's more violent than I'd imagined!



Santa Alter
Minor details. Worry not!
All one really needs to be Santa is to hand out presents.
Santa Alter
Not even Picts, and raising such a ruckus indoors?
Such poor manners. It's Christmas. Take this fight
outside!
After Battle'
Santa Alter
Have you learned your lesson, ruffians?
The form of Santa Claus pleases me greatly but it is only
a temporary one.
Santa Alter
My true form is that of Britain's Red Dragon,
Altria, the King of Knights. Remember it well.
Lu Bu
...
...(looking dejected)
Darius Ill
Ohhh... Santa... Claaaus...
Santa... Claaaaauuss...
Phantom
Anguish... Anguish... Anguish...
When I think of what we've done... Oh, the anguish...

  1. ...Doesn't he look a little odd?  2. ...Well, Your Majesty, don't we look like the bad guys here?
  Select: ...Doesn't he look a little odd?


  Select: ...Well, Your Majesty, don't we look like the bad guys here?



Santa Alter
...Yes, it is starting to feel that way to me as well.
This being my first job, perhaps I got a bit too
hot-headed.
Santa Alter
You there. You understand the speech of these other
two, correct? ls that tree Darius, aged three, by any
chance?
Phantom
Yes, he is... His king is, in fact, the green light that burns
in Hell, the Lord Cyalume... And who might you be, my
lady?
Santa Alter
I already told you I was Santa Claus.
Now, accept your presents.
Lu Bu
!
Darius lll
Ohhhh!
Presents! Gimme!!
Santa Alter
There, there.
This is for you.

gives
Icon CE 0018.png

Santa Alter
Since you would die before you could ever use a Noble
Phantasm, use this to amass a little motivation, or
perhaps a little love.
Lu Bu
!
Darius III
Hurraaaaay!
Santa Alter
As for you, Black Mantle,
I shall give you... Yes, this.

gives
Icon CE 0030.png

Phantom
Oh! This is the very thing I have lost! My love, my light!
Christine! You've brought her back to me!
Santa Alter
As I said, do not come near my reindeer.
We are busy. We have a mountain of work to do.
Santa Alter
Let us go, (Your Name). Santa should be as a
passing breeze. We must not stay long.
Santa Alter
And it is painful to have to leave a party early,
since my hunger is never satiated.
Santa Alter
Well, then? Farewell, little ones!
Let us meet again next year! Merry Christmas!
Santa Alter
All right. They were the perfect companions for some
light warm-up. Now it's time for you to work, my
reindeer.
Santa Alter
From now until the end of Christmas,
many more battles await us, I am sure.
Santa Alter
At each stop, gather the stockings and bring them to me
Stockings are the crystallizations of the hearts of
children seeking presents...
Santa Alter
It is by the power of such magical energy that Santa
Claus traverses the globe. In other words, you could call
it our fuel.
Santa Alter
The more you gather, the greater the reward I shall
bestow upon you. Remember that as you go about your
work.
Santa Alter
The next "Dear Santa" letter is on the 2nd.
Let us build up our party until then!

2nd Night: Her Name is Little Marie

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Santa Alter
Good work with your reindeer training. You're fighting
Christmas monsters when you have time, right?
Santa Alter
Thanks to your efforts, the fuel for my sleigh...
The Santa Points have been building up nicely.
Santa Alter
Now I can deliver the next present.
Good work, ---.
Santa Alter
Let's go over this one more time
Christmas celebrates the birth of a certain person.
Santa Alter
It is the mass of Christ, hence the word Christmas.
Santa Alter
These days, Christmas Eve is December 24th,
and the 25th itself is Christmas.
Santa Alter
But the original period was much longer. His birth was
celebrated for days, reaching its peak on the 25th.
Santa Alter
In other words, beginning my advance this early
is Santa's old way of doing it.

  1. You're doing it the classic way  2. Advance? Like a military advance?
  Select: You're doing it the classic way
Santa Alter
Of course. Function follows form. Destroying everything
thoroughly is the classic way to win.

  Select: Advance? Like a military advance?
Santa Alter
...
...
Santa Alter
I see our destination. Give me your magical energy, Reindeer!


Santa Alter
This "Dear Santa" letter is from Marie,
a girl who lives in France.
Santa Alter
Two of her friends are always fighting,
so she wants a present to bring them together, it says.
Santa Alter
Humph. How stupid.
Santa only grants one's own wishes.
Santa Alter
I have no presents to bring happiness to other people.
What does this Marie think Christmas is about, anyway?

  1. Sounds like a mistake Marie would make  2. Sounds like a mistake you'd make.
  Select: Sounds like a mistake Marie would make

Santa Alter
That's right. If she wants to bring them together,
she should pick a present herself.
Santa Alter
She should do what I did. I once sent two knights who
were fighting a single horse, and told them this...
Santa Alter
"This is for the one who thinks they're better than the other." I knew this would test them and form a
friendship.
Santa Alter
It worked perfectly. They stopped arguing in front of
others. Although they were trying so hard not to snap at
each other when they smiled, but oh well.
Santa Alter
That was Agravain's idea.
Aggy always gave me the best advice.

  Select: Sounds like a mistake you'd make.
Santa Alter
I'm not making any mistakes.
Santa Alter
Santa brings gifts.
She does not bring happiness.
Santa Alter
Whether the gifts bring happiness
depends on if the little ones have been good or not


Santa Alter
...Hmm? This should be the insertion point...
But it's a snowy field.
Santa Alter
The French Marie is without a doubt
a member of the royal family.
Santa Alter
I was expecting her Christmas party to be nationwide
chaos, with mountains of expensive turkeys...
???
Found you!
That's your last airspace violation, Santa Claus!
Santa Alter
What!? We're 2,000 meters in the air!
Don't you think that's crazy?
???
That's my line!
What's with that hippo sleigh? Are you kidding me?
???
Also a date in the sky with Master was going to be my
thing! Don't steal it from me!

  1. What is that eagle...bird?  2. Wow, that's so cool!
  Select: What is that eagle...bird?
Santa Alter
That's a hippogriff, Reindeer.
It's often mistaken for a griffin.
Santa Alter
I mistake them often myself. Neither is as good as a
dragon, so don't waste time remembering.
???
ARGH! Don't think that firepower
equals strength! How short-sighted can you be?

  Select: Wow, that's so cool!
???
Huh...it is? Am I... Cool?
I'm used to being called cute...
???
...but "cool" is new. You're making me blush... Hehe
Santa Alter
...Maybe I'll crush them. More specifically,
I'll smack you hard right between the legs.
???
Humph. I don't like that kind of sexual prejudice
That's not a weak point for me anyway.

???
Hmmph, target sighted!
Marie, up here! Fire everything you've got!
Santa Alter
What!?
Santa Alter
We've been hit!
Grab on, Reindeer! We're crash-landing!
Tch. They shot down Santa Claus!
Is this the French way? I knew I shouldn't trust them!
d'Eon
That's my line, you suspicious woman!
Go back to Santa Claus village!
Marie
Oh my. That's rude to Finland, d'Eon.
The fault lies entirely with this wicked Santa.
Marie
Hehehe. I've never felt so violent before.
It's exciting! Shooting a cannon is fun ♡
Santa Alter
Not interested in negotiations, huh?
You're after my sack of presents, aren't you?
Santa Alter
Very well. Santa is destined to be a target for thieves
I'll deal with you before I go see Marie.
Santa Alter
Let's go, Reindeer!
We can ride that merry-go~round after we're done!
Marie
...Huh? Do I have the wrong person?
Maybe Astolfo's got bad eyesight...
Marie
It doesn't matter. Tonight's a festival night!
Little problems will melt away with the snow.
Vive la France!
My dear, gallant Santa, do you like snowball fights?

d'Eon
...Such amazing bladework.
This couldn't be Santa, could it?
Marie
Oh, didn't you realize when the fight started?
This isn't the same Santa Claus as before.
d‘Eon
I-I'm sorry... I wasn't thinking straight...
But my queen, if you noticed then why didn't you stop?
Marie
I'm sorry, but I wanted to keep the momentum going!
You had fun too, didn't you Santa?
Santa Alter
Of course. It's good to revisit one‘s childhood.
I'm sorry for being so rough with your knight.
Santa Alter
By the way, that well-bred dog...
Are you perhaps Marie?
Marie
Yes, I am Marie.
You read my letter, didn't you, Santa?
d'Eon
(Dog... That Chimera was a dog? That definitely wasn't a
papillon, but if the queen says so...)
Astolfo
I'm here! ...Wait.
Is the fight over already? I don't get to fight?
Santa Alter
So this is everyone, huh? It seems there was a
misunderstanding, but it's solved now.
Santa Alter
I'll give you your presents then.
Line up, you violent children.
Marie
Okay!
Come on d‘Eon, Astolfo, let's line up!
d'Eon
Huh? ...l get a present too? Are you actually a nice
person, even though you don't look like one?
Santa Alter
That last part was unnecessary.
You and I should get along. You have my respect.
Santa Alter
Men's attire in France is really elegant, isn't it, Knight?
Give me more details later. l like those frills.
d'Eon
I am not cross-dressing!
I am a man as you can see!
Santa Alter
...You heard them.
Anything you want to say, Hippo?
Astolfo
Why are you asking me?
What's wrong with a girl dressing like a boy?
Astolfo
People should wear the clothes that suit them.
I think d'Eon‘s letting clothes run their life, though...
d‘Eon
You're too free-spirited! You, Roland...
Are the 12 Paladins filled with nothing with perverts?
Astolfo
Huh?
Comparing me to Roland isn't fair!
Astolfo
He's the type who wind up in handcuffs.
I get my name in the papers!
Santa Alter
I'm glad you're all getting along.
Let me see...
Santa Alter
This is for you, Marie.

gives
Icon CE 0019.png
Sorcery Ore

I hope it gives you inspiration for the Merry-Go-Round
Marie
Oh my! A glass horse!
Thank you, Santa!
Santa Alter
Next is the Knight. You get this.

gives
Icon CE 0054.png
Maid in Halloween

d'Eon
A m-maid?
Santa Alter
Why do I get a maid outfit? Am I supposed to wear this? I
It s a message to at least make better food than the cat.
That is, if anyone will take you at this point.
d'Eon
I'll be single for the rest of my life!
Even as a Servant!
Santa Alter
I see. I think we'll get along well there, too
Give me your contact info later.
Santa Alter
...Now then.
Astolfo
...(Excited)
Santa Alter
Let's go, Reindeer.
Farewell, and see you next year!
Astolfo
H-hold it——!
What about me? What do I get, Santa?
Santa Alter
Nothing! He who does not fight shall not get presents!
You were too lazy to save Orleans!
d'Eon
She's got you there.
Even Atalante showed up as an enemy.
Astolfo
What!?
That wasn't my fault!
Astolfo
The France chapter ended a long time ago!
That means I couldn't possibly——oww!?

Icon CE 0049.png
Jack-o'-Lantern

Marie
Oh my. I guess Santa
gave you a present after all.
Marie
A Halloween pumpkin...
What does that mean?
Astolfo
Um... Maybe that I'm cute like a pumpkin?
Astolfo
Aww, she said those mean things,
but she actually loves me... Tehehe.
d‘Eon
No, I think she's saying you're an idiot who was late for the party. This is a Craft Essence that's past its expiration date.
Marie
Oh, I get it! It means
"You won't be in anything until next year's Halloween."
Astolfo
What? ——I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-LE!
That can't be right! I'll be back sooner than that!


3rd Night: Heartbreak☆Jean Kay

Show/Hide Story Chapter

Santa Alter
So here we are. This time our “Dear Santa"
letter is from Jean Kay, address unknown.
Santa Alter
I guess she makes a living as an assassin, so has no
specific address. Right now she's hiding in those caves

  1. Are you talking about Jing Ke?  2. What did she ask for?
  Select: Are you talking about Jing Ke?
Santa Alter
It's Jean Kay, I think. How am I supposed to know how to pronounce it, I don't speak Chinese.

  Select: What did she ask for?
Santa Alter
The mental fortitude to remain calm in adversity,
and a pair of easy-to-draw double daggers.

Santa Alter
By the way, (Your Name).
Do you hear that strange sound?
Santa Alter
It's like someone's repeatedly hitting heavy meat with a
blunt object, or endlessly pounding a bag filled with
sand.

  1. ...I've got a bad feeling about this.  2. ...I can guess who that is.
  Select: ...I've got a bad feeling about this.


  Select: ...I can guess who that is.

Santa Alter
You're pretty perceptive. I wouldn't have guessed.
...Well. once we go inside. we'll find out even if we don't
want to.
Santa Alter
This time it's a cave, so there's no chimney here.
We'll go in through that door in the front.

Martha
Hahh! Hahh! Whew!
What's wrong! With people! On Christmas?!
Martha
They say it's about celebrating His birth,
so why! Are all these couples! Exchanging presents!
Martha
No, it's fine. It's fine, Martha.
Showing your beloved how you feel is a good thing.
Martha
The problem is! Wimps! Who can't even ask a girl out!
Unless it's on Christmas!
Martha
And His birthday was October, anyway!
Martha
And why are they playing!
Sappy pop songs! On a day! Like thisl?
Santa Alter
...lt fell. No, it snapped.
The chain holding that sandbag just snapped.

  1. I saw nothing!
  Select: I saw nothing!

Ushiwakamaru
You've got that right, Martha. If someone wants to send
presents, they can do it any time.
Ushiwakamaru
I went and got the enemy general's head for my brother
the instant the idea came to me. He refused it for some
reason, though.
Ushiwakamaru
...My Lord said something similar,
actually.
Ushiwakamaru
I went hunting monsters, and they said they wanted
a demon‘s heart, not their head. "Stop that, it's scary
they said.
Ushiwakamaru
Hehe... Both them and my brother want so little.
It's such a virtue to be so not—greedy.
Ushiwakamaru
I think they said something about needing eyeballs a
while ago.
Ushiwakamaru
If they want me to do it, I'll pull all the eyeballs
off a Demon God pillar, but...
Ushiwakamaru
Unfortunately, I've been given no such order.
I wish they'd give me some kind of mission...
Ushiwakamaru
...so crazy that it could make you shiver
just hearing about it...
Santa Alter
{Your Name}, do you know that woman who doesn't know how to
work out her stress problems,
or the loyal dog with the broken brakes?
Santa Alter
Well, it doesn't matter. Excuse me!
I'm told Jean Kay is here!
Martha
Huh? Who's there!
How long have you been there?

  1. Since just now. I mean it.  2. I saw nothing. I saw nothing.
  Select: Since just now. I mean it.


  Select: I saw nothing. I saw nothing.

Santa Alter
Reindeer is right.
We're here to see Jean Kay.
Santa Alter
I m not at all interested in the things you were saying
that would freak out Master if they heard them.
Martha
——Ahem. So you're here for Jing Ke, right?
Martha
Welcome to this distant cave,
which normally no one should ever visit.
Martha
I can see you're two... Um, two travelers, right?
Please, sit down.
Martha
I'll get dinner ready. Once you have some warm soup,
please kindly get out, okay?
Santa Alter
No need for that. Once we're done here we will leave.
Where is Jean Kay?
Ushiwakamaru
You mean Jing Ke?
Oh, she's...
Jing Ke
What's up?
Did somebody call me?
Jing Ke
Oh, looks like we've got more company!
Hey Martha, are you going to cook?
Jing Ke
Add in an order of seared beef, too.
Some sea turtle soup would also be great!
Jing Ke
Everything you make is delicious, Martha. I don't know
why the world's men aren't banging down your door.
Martha
You're so lazy! All you do is lay around and you never
help with the cooking.
Martha
If I had my staff l'd be teaching you a lesson, Jing Ke!
What happened to the normal, gallant you?
Jing Ke
Aww. C'mon, just make it! Pretty please!
I really like the meat dishes you make!
Jing Ke
Yukhoe? Is that what you call that stuff? Those thin
slices of beef you eat raw. It's so good with wine!
Jing Ke
But how do you manage to grind
the meat without a blade?
Santa Alter
Wha—t is this?

  1. Definitely a drunk!  2. Definitely a cutie!
  Select: Definitely a drunk!


  Select: Definitely a cutie!

Jing Ke
Hmm? Ushiwakamaru, did you get smaller?
What's with the black clothes? Going to war?
Ushiwakamaru
I'm sorry, honored guests.
Ushiwakamaru
Jing Ke began drinking to recover from a traumatic
event, and that was ten days ago. Now she's totally
toasted.
Santa Alter
I see... She couldn't wait for me, huh?
I should've come here first. Forgive me.
Santa Alter
But don't worry. Santa Claus is here for you,
little drunkard... No, I mean office lady!
Santa Alter
I've come to deliver your present!
Ushiwakamaru
What? Did you say Santa Claus?
Now that you mention it, you do dress like one
Martha
...Heh, you've got guts. What makes you think you can
just come back and... Never mind.
Martha
l'm gonna smash up your face!
Get ready, you villain!
Jing Ke
What? Another Santa? Give me a gift card for a
good yakiniku place! I want some beef tongue!

  1. I knew they'd attack us!  2. What did Santa do?
  Select: I knew they'd attack us!


  Select: What did Santa do?


Santa Alter
...Looks like this is starting to make sense.
Santa Alter
There's lots I want to ask,
but it can wait until after the battle.
Santa Alter
You young ladies who want to spend your Christmas
having a party in a gloomy cave——
Santa Alter
This is a royal order! Once I beat you,
go try and find yourselves boyfriends!
After Battle'
Jing Ke
I lost—!
So close! I just needed nine more steps!
Ushiwakamaru
I give up—!
Martha
Tch... How could I lose twice to this thief...
Is it the staff? ...Am I not cut out for a staff after all?
Santa Alter
Hmph. You've finally calmed down, huh?
You seem to have it out for Santa Claus.
Santa Alter
Something happened, right? Tell me.
Martha
What do you mean? A Santa Claus came here before
Martha
When I said, "Yay! Presents! Santa, I want a new set
of German cooking knives!" and got all excited...
Ushiwakamaru
...That Santa made us sign some weird form
and then put our stamp on it...
Ushiwakamaru
...and the next thing we knew we were forced to
buv expensive presents with our own monev...
Martha
That s not all. When they found out we didn't have
enough money, they confiscated our stuff!
Martha
What is that? Some kind of new sales technique?
When did Santa Claus turn into a shady company?
Santa Alter
That's impossible!
Santa Claus is a friend to children everywhere!
Santa Alter
...But it seems your story is true.
As a fellow Santa, I am upset.

  1. That Santa must be a fake  2. Santa Alter is a good evil Santa Claus.
  Select: That Santa must be a fake

Ushiwakamaru
Come to think of it... Santa Alter's wearing black.
I didn't realize that she was Santa Claus at first.
Ushiwakamaru
But the other Santa looked just
like you'd expect Santa Claus to look.

  Select: Santa Alter is a good evil Santa Claus.

Jing Ke
Hmm. That s a complicated way of calling her.
So, is she good or bad?
Martha
...A dark Santa, huh? One that gives
awful presents to bad kids.
Martha
Kids might think she's a mean Santa, but objectively
speaking, she punishes evil kids so they II mend their
ways.
Kids might think she's a mean Santa, but objectively
speaking, she punishes evil kids so they'll mend their
ways.
Santa Alter
That's not true at all.
Ijust give people the gifts they need.
Santa Alter
I have no intention on lecturing anyone.
If you want one, you can ask an Avenger.


Santa Alter
Anyway, I'm sorry that happened to you. Let me see...
I didn't expect to need presents for three people.
Santa Alter
You, cold-looking woman. This is for you. The real one
isn't here, but if you have this with you you'll find it.

Gives
Icon CE 0055.png

Ushiwakamaru
A-A ship? I might be able to do something with a small
boat, but a ship this large...
Ushiwakamaru
Well, whatever... If I sneak aboard at night and take the
boss out first, the crew will all belong to me.
Santa Alter
That's a dangerous thought. As expected from a genius
dog like you. I can see why your brother has such
trouble.
Santa Alter
Next...
Martha
Huh? I get something too?
You show compassion, even to those you fought?
Martha
I'm sorry. I misjudged you.
You are pure-hearted, and a real Santa Clausi
Santa Alter
This is for you. You like these, right?

Gives
Icon CE 0021.png

Martha
Oh my.
Martha
...Wait a minute! I don't need this!
Why would a Saint want to get buff?
Jing Ke
Hey, what do I get?
Don't I get a present?
Santa Alter
Of course. You get this, Jean Kay.

Gives
Icon CE 0027.png

Santa Alter
This talisman will help you do your job elegantly,
and not panic in front of your target.
Jing Ke
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA!

  1. She loved it!  2. ...She thinks it's funny?
  Select: She loved it!


  Select: ...She thinks it's funny?



Jing Ke
Wonderful! I love this bearded guy?!
Wow. That kinda got me. That hit me right in the kokoro.
Jing Ke
I'm gonna go assassinate this guy—! He's
got a face that just makes you want to stab him from
behind—!

  1. He was already assassinated...  2. That's crazy...
  Select: He was already assassinated...


  Select: That's crazy...



Ushiwakamaru
...l'm sorry. Jing Ke almost never gets drunk,
but when she does she's like this...
Martha
She's been drinking ever since that Santa Claus
got her... It's understandable.
Santa Alter
Hmm... This Santa Claus was good enough
to deceive tough-looking girls like you, huh?
Santa Alter
Well, it doesn't matter.
My job is done here.
Santa Alter
Let's go, (Your Name)!
To the next set of troubled children!
Ushiwakamaru
They left, huh?
She turned out to be a good Santa, but...
Ushiwakamaru
Why was my Lord wearing a reindeer
costume?
Ushiwakamaru
No, it was very cute, so it was a
good Christmas present for me.
Martha
Y-You think she's just into that?
That's how Riders are. Anyway—
Martha
...I don't see Jing Ke, do you?
Ushiwakamaru
Oh.
Ushiwakamaru
—Okay, it's too late!
Let's forget about the bearded gentleman!


4th Night: Penname, Daddy-Long-Legs

Show/Hide Story Chapter

Emiya
The keel's done for! It'll break any moment now! Isn't it
time a certain someone took responsibility for this
mess?!
Robin
Don't look at me! This isn't my fault! This whole thing
was supposed to be the two of us going on a fishing trip!
Robin
Being equally matched at hunting in the woods, we were
supposed to take our contest to sea, so to speak.
That's when—
Emiya
That's when——— A certain idiot stowed away on our
boat and waited for his chance while the two of us were
busy in the hold.
Emiya
And saying how he wanted to meet the ladies of the
Southern Lands, steered our boat straight out to sea!
Emiya
Isn't that right?
Emiya/Robin
King David!
Old Man David!
David
Hmm... It's one thing when young ladies call my name,
But having it shouted by you gentlemen is rather
unpleasant.
Davki
Now, you two. Weren't you ever taught that you must
respect your elders?
David
By the way, I'd rather like to return
to the shore now. What do you say?
David
What? The sail got broken and we ran out of our magical
energy?
David
Then this is an emergency!
Quickly, you two! Jump into the water!
David
The boat can still hold my weight if I'm alone.
The magical energy stored should hold out too! It's
simple math!
Robin
Arrrghh! It's no use, I am about to snap—! Old man,
how can you act so high and mighty at a time like this?
Emiya
That's how every one of the Kings of Old behaves!
In fact, l can think of one who's like a walking mass of
arrogance...
Robin
Wah! This isn't the time to stand around glaring at each
other! Let's hurry up and toss some cargo overboard, at
least!
Robin
If we get done in by something like this,
we'll be the laughingstock of the Servant World!
David
The Servant World? So that's how you refer to it?
That's good to know. Thank you!
David
Then in that case, may I ask who the current top
comedian is there? I'd like to know for future reference.
Robin
Oh, probably that one girl... The one with the dragon
wings and the horns growing out of her head.
Robin
There are lots of other talented ones too, but they fall
short of her.
Emiya
What are you babbling on about? As of now, I'd
nominate the three of us for the biggest stooges!
David
Oh yes, I'm sorry! That reminds me, do the two of you
know the tale of Carneades?
David
When a ship sank upon a stormy sea, one man was
fortunate and survived the wreck by clinging to a small
piece of driftwood.
David
But there was another fortunate man who survived as
well, and he swam toward the first man. Therein arose a
problem.
David
The driftwood was large enough to keep one man afloat,
but with two, it would certainly sink. Thus, the man—
Robin
Hey, Red Mantle! What do you say we lighten our load
by one person right now? Then you and I can continue
our contest afterward!
Emiya ,
For once, I agree with you, huntsman!
Emiya
This is a good chance for us. We can compete to see
who s the better Archer right here and now!
David
That saddens me. Nothing ever comes from contention..
And, it's already known that I am the superior Archer...
David
But I suppose if I were to knock you off the boat
defending myself, none could blame me for it. So I shall
join in your contest!
David
Despite my appearance, I was a King of many victories.
I must warn you that I am skilled. Extremely skilled.
David
If there were a ranking of "Most-Victorious Kings" in the
Servant World, I assure you, I would occupy its top spot
Robin
Oh, is that so? Fine by me. Killing kings is what I do
so I'll put you out of your misery now!
???
Most-Victorious King? Superior Archer?
Hmph. You 3-Stars certainly talk a big game.
Robin
!!! Look above!
Santa Alter
Hohoho!
Step aside, you're in the way of my landing!
Robin
...And who might you be?
We were in the middle of something just now, you know?
Santa Alter
The invincible Santa that descends upon Christmas like
this storm! That is who I am.
Robin
Huh? Santa? Really?
But wait! The sky? You came from the sky?
Robin
Meaning, you have some means of getting off this boat?
Santa Alter
Naturally, I do. Due to this storm, I have left my sleigh
and reindeer waiting for me above the clouds.
Santa Alter
A proper Servant must think upon their Master's safety.
Isn't that so, Red Archer?
Robin
Oh-hoh! ls this Servant an acquaintance of yours,
Red Mantle?
Emiya
——(remains silent with an unreadable expression
on his face)
David
Abishag! It's you, Abishag! O Beautiful One, there can
be no doubt that you are my Abishag!
David
Ohh, to think that we would both become Servants and
meet again like this! I am truly blessed!
David
Come, warm this chilled body of mine
as you did in the past. Come, hesitate not.
Santa Alter
You are mistaken, King David.
I am Santa Alter, not Abishag.
David
??? But with beauty such as yours you must be Abishag.
Ah. Perhaps you do not recognize me as a youth?
David
I was an old man when I took you as my wife.
But fear not, for my heart is as true as ever it was.
David
Be I shepherd, king, or aged man, I declare that
the contents of my mind, at base, are ever unchanged!
Santa Alter
Oh? That is well, then. In that case, you were of sound
mind when proclaiming yourself the "Most-Victorious
King"?
David
Huh? Uh, yes, I suppose that...
I was indeed powerful in war.
Emiya
...Fool... You've dug your own grave...
Santa Alter
Then I shall see your strength tested.
Gift distribution can wait till after.
Santa Alter
En garde, Archers!
This sword shall rectify your arrogance!
David
Sorry, one moment, please! As I, personally, am not
terribly powerful, won't you assist me, gentlemen?
Robin
Huh? Are you completely mad?
All we want is to catch a ride on that flying sleigh...
Robin
Though she just might do our bidding if we defeat her.
If it's a fight you want, I will gladly comply.
Robin
A Saber-class challenging Archer-class Servants
to a fight. This won't even be funny.
After Battle'
Robin
Gwaah—?! Man, I messed up... Now that I look
closer, you're actually a Rider-class, aren't you?
Santa Alter
You have an Archer who attacks with a staff.
A Rider who attacks with a sack of presents should be
fine as well.
David
Hahaha! Well, there's no comeback we can make to that.
That said, my Noble Phantasm is pretty Archer-like
though.
Emiya
...Ahem. I assume we're all calmed down now?
Why, exactly, did you come here, Santa Rider?
Santa Alter
Fool. I did not come here at my own behest.
I came in response to a "Dear Santa" letter.
Emiya
...I see. I have a pretty good idea who the sender was.
I'll bet he asked for jewels to delight his many wives
with, right?
Emiya
Really, writing letters to Santa as a full-grown man...
What a problematic adult. Seriously.
David
Yes, seriously problematic.
One should limit one's childish dreams.
Emiya
What? King David... Um.
Pardon me, but wasn't it you?
David
Of course it wasn't.
The only one I send my prayers to is our Lord in Heaven.
David
And anyhow, isn't the idea of Santa Claus a bit scary?
It's nothing but trouble to receive gifts from someone
who wishes nothing in return.
Emiya
If it wasn't me and it wasn't King David,
that means—
Robin
All right, all right! It was me, okay? I sent it!
Call it a temporary fit of madness—!
Santa Alter
Don't be embarrassed. All are equally accepted in the
eyes of Santa Claus. Especially you in the green. You
have worked hard.
Santa Alter
Your method of supporting your Master from the
shadows rather than coddling them is most
praise-worthy. Though a tad under-handed.
Santa Alter
In contrast, you in the red. You spoil your Master too
much. What are you, the mother of an exam student
preparing for Exam Day?
Emiya
Uh-uh! I object strongly to that!
l‘m not at all overprotective...
Santa Alter
These presents are for you two.
Accept them gratefully.

Icon CE 0013.png
Icon CE 0014.png
Icon CE 0015.png

Robin
!!!! Black Key Assortments?
David
Wow, what an impressive-looking sword!
(rather half-heartedly)
Santa Alter
Don't get too happy yet. Your real present is being
prepared elsewhere. I sent word ahead of time, so it
should arrive soon.
Santa Alter
??
Emiya
She comes and goes like a storm.
I didn't even realize the real storm had passed.
Emiya
Ah, well. At least this means we won't have to
listen to the tale of Carneades now.
David
What? Who spoke of Carneades' tale as an example to
follow? That's horrendous. Let us put that man to death.
Both
It was you! You haven't learned anything since the Uriah
incident, have you?!
David
Now, now. No matter how strained the situation, I am
not the kind of man who would be so insensitive as that.
Robin
...Maybe we really should just toss him overboard?
We'd be doing his Master a favor, don't you think?
Emiya
...Agreed. His existence will only be a bad example.
Let's just say King David went back to Okeanos.
David
I apologize, it seems your words were true. I know I am
wrong now, please forgive me. Our Lord in Heaven says
so, too.
David
Rather, why don't we reflect on our battle just now?
Despite our loss, don't you think the three of us make a
good team?
David
Nameless One, with your ADE Noble Phantasm.
And Faceless One, with his single-target Noble
Phantasm.
David
And I, using aggressive evasive tactics to avoid harm,
sealing the enemy's special attacks before they are
launched.
David
Even humbly speaking, wouldn't we be a rather
invincible team? We should become friends, shouldn't
we?
Robin
Hmm, that's true enough.
We wouldn't have any blind spots as a team.
Emiya
True. We wouldn't be the most powerful team, but we're
all elite Archers. With the three of us combined, there'd
be no enemy who could-—
Elisabeth
Hi! I received your order and have come accordingly!
This is the location of the special Christmas concert,
right?
Emiya
Ugh, a Lancer?!
Elisabeth
According to the client's order, since we are floating out
at sea, I can let loose and sing as loud as I want...
Elisabeth
I won't let anyone escape me tonight! Now let's jump
straight into my opening number, "Love is Dracul!"
Robin
Ah, this is the end. We're all going to the underworld
with that AOE Noble Phantasm...
Santa Alter
It seems the Home-Delivered Concert from Hell has
begun.
Santa Alter
Heh! Those accursed Archers,
will drop like flies.

  1. Welcome back, Santa  2. Did anything happen down there at all?
  Select: Welcome back, Santa


  Select: Did anything happen down there at all?



Santa Alter
Th-thank you. So you've learned to give Santa a proper
greeting after all? You seem to be understanding your
role as a reindeer better.
Santa Alter
In any case, that concludes our detour.
Our next "Dear Santa" letter?
Santa Alter
...comes from Uruk, from a boy named Gilgamesh?!

5th Night: Little Gilgamesh

Show/Hide Story Chapter

Santa Alter
This is the address of our next letter-sender, but—
Gilgamesh
My letter should be arriving soon. Not that I normally
take any notice of Christmas or whatever it is—
Gilgamesh
That wretched Saber is sure to dress in that manner of
getup. Such frivolity... Who would've thought she would
answer to such needs so faithfully.
Gilgamesh
It is praise-worthy for a king to endeavor to meet his
subjects‘ expectations. Even I could perhaps learn from
her example. But of course, I won't.
Gilgamesh
No, that is not the vital point in this. What I should
truly take note of is the institution of Christmas!
Gilgamesh
It is said that however reserved and modest a woman
can be, on Christmas, she cannot help but speak the
truth of her heart!
Gilgamesh
Ahh, l can't imagine any future but one in which she will
confess her feelings for me! Very well. I shall allow it!
Thank me for the good service!
Gilgamesh
Now, come quickly, Dark Santa! I shall make you
understand our difference through my treasury!
Gilgamesh
Fwahahaha! And then, perhaps I will say something like,
You, yourself, are my Christmas present, aren't you?
Santa Alter
We're leaving,(Your Name).
This house appears to be empty.

  1. Yes, indeed.  2. Yes, indeed.
  Select: Yes, indeed.


  Select: Yes, indeed.



Santa Alter
Reindeer! We have the night off thanks to Gilgamesh's
grand delusions.
Santa Alter
And we happen to be floating above a great city.
What don't we enjoy ourselves in its entertainment
quarter?
Santa Alter
Though there are but rustic eateries here in ancient Uruk,
they should have good, simple food to dine upon.
Santa Alter
I, myself, favor that dish of wheat flour mixed with water
and stuffed with various fillings that is then baked upon
an iron plate and then basted with sauce afterward.
Santa Alter
I imagine even you could make something like th—
What?
Santa Alter
We've been encapsulated by a strange space!
Don't leave my side, (Your Name)!
Santa Alter
!!! ...Where are we?
This does not appear to be a normal place...
Nursery Rhyme
...Pardon me... Hello there.
Miss, are you Santa Claus?
Jack
You are Santa, aren't you?
I mean, you're carrying all those presents, after all.
Santa Alter
Yes, I am Santa. And what manner of beings are you?
Are you the ghosts that haunt this place?
Jack
We...are not ghosts or phantoms, I think...
But I don't think we are human either...
Nursery Rhyme
Yes... Neither Jack nor I
really know what we are...
Nursery Rhyme
We didn't have names either...
All we could do is lie here and look at the town...
Nursery Rhyme
But tonight, um...
Jack
Since it's...Christmas...
We were thinking we'd like something warm too.
Nursery Rhyme
...Yeah. That's why, even though we knew
that it was wrong...
Nursery Rhyme
...we forcefully summoned you here "inside" ourselves.
Santa Alter
...I see. You must be the unfulfilled spirits of young girls.
Your lives ended while still innocent, and ignorant of
love.
Santa Alter
I see you‘ve gained a sense of self under the light
of Christmas. ...Though only due to your sense of
lonefiness.
Jack
We aren't that complicated.
But Alice only had memories of the hospital, so...
Nursery Rhyme
What? Well, you only had memories of a dark sewer,
Jack. I don't think that's a good thing. Not at all.
Nursery Rhyme
That's why... At least for one day today, we...
We wanted to feel "chosen" by someone too...
Santa Alter
...l see. So you've never had your names called,
or have never been chosen by another?
Santa Alter
—Upon this extraordinary day,
the two of you felt that you, alone, were not special?

  1. This sounds like a job for Santa Alter  2. Aren't you going to give them presents?
  Select: This sounds like a job for Santa Alter


  Select: Aren't you going to give them presents?



Santa Alter
That I cannot do. I cannot give presents to any who have
not written me letters.
Jack/Nursery Rhyme
Santa Alter
However! If you wish it from the bottom of your heart,
declare it! Wanting something just because you're lonely
means nothing!
Santa Alter
You should want something because it looks like fun, or
simply because you want it! There, now. Show some
courage!
Jack
O—Okay.
T-to be honest, we...
Nursery Rhyme
We want to play like everyone else does!
We want a dream that's more fun than this!
Nursery Rhyme
Please, Santa Claus!
Please give us presents too!
Santa Alter
Well spoken. I shall answer to this courage. If you have
no letter, then come take your presents by force!
Santa Alter
Apologies for keeping you waiting, little ones.
Now, let us begin this merry party!
After Battle'
Jack/Nursery Rhyme
Aww... We...lost...
I guess there won't be...any Christmas for us...
Santa Alter
...

  1. ...
  Select: ...



Santa Alter
Augh——!
l—have—been—defeated—!
Jack/Nursery Rhyme
...Huh?
Santa Alter
Well fought, my brave little ones!
As promised, I shall now give you Christmas presents!
Nursery Rhyme
Ms. Santa!
Jack
Ah... Ohh...
Presents... So many presents!

  1. Santa!  2. Alter-chan!
  Select: Santa!

Santa Alter
Your face says, "So you do have some good points,"
(Your Name). ...Of course, I do. I am the ally of all children.

  Select: Alter-chan!

Santa Alter
Do not call me, "Alter-chan!"
Know your place as a reindder and show some restraint!



Nursery Rhyme
Thank you... Thank you, Santa Claus! But is it really
okay for us to have so many presentsl?
Jack
Th-that's right... Aren't there many other children
waiting for their presents too?
Santa Alter
Heh. You needn't worry about that.
I have only one more stop to make.
Santa Alter
What's more, these are merely the spoils of your
victorious battle. Now, what shall I give you for your
actual, individual presents—?
Santa Alter
Here, take this!
These are the presents I have chosen especially for you!

Icon CE 0068.png
Icon CE 0069.png
Icon CE 0070.png

Jack
Ohh... Ohhhhl!
This... This is...
Nursery Rhyme
Hurray—! It's a reindeer—!
A humongous, humongous reindeer—!
Santa Alter
Two little girls running in gleeful circles around Asterios...
Heh! That's what a proper Christmas should be.

  1. ...So you already had a reindeer, didn't you?  2. Should we go call Euryale?
  Select: ...So you already had a reindeer, didn't you?

Santa Alter
Fool, that one is only for show. If Asterios were to start
running, lightning would streak the sky.
Santa Alter
Which would frighten all the little children.
The best thing for this prince is to have him do nothing.

  Select: Should we go call Euryale?

Santa Alter
Certainly not. If that wicked goddess were here, she would turn these pure, young girls into demons!



Santa Alter
...ln any case, our work here is done. Even if it is only
a dream for one night, enjoy yourselves heartily.
Jack
Ah... Wait, Santa!
Jack
...Thank you.
Never mind me, but thank you for granting Alice's wish.
Nursery Rhyme
Yes, thank you, Santa, and thank you, Jack.
Even though I was scared at first, the party was fun!
Santa Alter
——
Nursery Rhyme
But I'm glad. It was only because we waited patiently
like the fake Santa told us to...
Nursery Rhyme
...that we got to meet the real Santa Claus.
Santa Alter
—Wait.
What do you speak of?
Jack
...Right. Before you came here,
another Santa Claus came too. But...
Jack
...while that Santa was talking with us,
they suddenly said, "Uh-oh. This won't do!"
Nursery Rhyme
"Since I'm not the real Santa Claus, I won't be able to fulfill your wishes. But the real Santa Claus is sure to show up soon."
Nursery Rhyme
"Please be good girls and wait patiently until then. What? If you can't do that, I'll try to do something for you next year."
Nursery Rhyme
And after saying that, that Santa disappeared
somewhere. She may have been a fake, but she was a
cool Santa too!
Nursery Rhyme
Well, good-bye, Santa! And Santa's reindeer!
Thank you for bringing presents all the way out here!
Santa Alter
...A fake Santa. I'd been ignoring it,
but now it seems a showdown is inevitable.
Santa Alter
somewhere. She may have been a fake, but she was a
cool Santa too!
Nursery Rhyme
Well, good-bye, Santa! And Santa's reindeer!
Thank you for bringing presents all the way out here!
Santa Alter
...A fake Santa. I'd been ignoring it,
but now it seems a showdown is inevitable.
Santa Alter
Before I deliver my final present, I must punish this
insolent cur. (Your Name), next up - a showdown!

6th Night: Fake Santa, Caesar

Show/Hide Story Chapter

Caesar
Welcome to the snowy fields of the final showdown!
Of course, I was the fake Santa!
Santa Alter
——(Tired Sigh)
Caesar
W-What’s with that sigh? A duel in a blizzard
should be incredibly exciting!
Caesar
Now, let me answer all your questions!
I'm ready!
Caesar
Why did I become Santa Claus?
Why is Caesar so plump?
Caesar
What kind of beauty was Cleopatra?
What's the present going to be on the last day?
Caesar
Everything! Everything! My swift tongue
shall melt away all your anger and doubts!
Santa Alter
Shut up, you red igloo!
I've no interest in your babbling!
Caesar
Igloo? Oh, those houses they make out of snow.
I stand strong against adversity, so it's a good metaphor.
Caesar
But are you sure you can't wait just a little?
Don't you want to know the story?
Caesar
No, you should learn the whole thing!
It was on a starry night, when I went to Darius‘ castle.
Caesar
He mistook me for Santa Claus, and became very happy.
I had no choice but to take his things.

  1. Why didn't you have a choice?
  Select: Why didn't you have a choice?

Caesar
Am I supposed to tell someone who's overjoyed to see
Santa that they've got the wrong guy?
Caesar
I could do not that, for I am Caesar.
But I had no presents to give out.
Caesar
So I borrowed things from Darius.
So I could use them as presents, you see.
Caesar
Though I did have Phantom. who just happened to be
there, sign off as the buyer.


  1. Are you a demon!?
  Select: Are you a demon!?

Caesar
But in the end, I was just a temporary Santa Claus.
I couldn't give them what they truly wanted.

Caesar
Unable to bear their sad crying, I crossed the river and
the next thing I knew I was in France.
Caesar
There was a very pure-hearted knight. She... No, he?
No, She? Anyway, I did my work there, too.
Caesar
I heard they wished to sell their old possessions
and I bought everything they owned.
Caesar
I was fortunate to have the funds from Darius.
One of their possessions was a treasure of the French
Royal family.
Caesar
They begged me to return it,
so I sold it back to them for ten times the price.
Caesar
"Are you really a famous spy, d'Eon? Maybe the enemy just lets you go because you're cute?"
Caesar
I couldn't bear to see the Queen bullying her like that.
She was almost in tears.
Caesar
So I went to the mountains and hid, where I found
an oriental beauty plotting to assassinate an Emperor.
Caesar
This time, the Emperor shall die by my hand— ‘
Caesar
Could any man not be struck
by the sight of her meditating beneath that waterfall?
Caesar
Fortunately, I'm half an emperor myself. I told her
I could give her good advice, and persuaded her to lend
me her daggers———
Santa Alter
Enough! Silence!
You're a walking fraud machine!
Caesar
Humph. I'm a victim too, you know.
Caesar
Everywhere I go, people call me
Santa Claus!
Caesar
I'm a general and a politician. You could say it's
my job to live up to people's expectations.
Caesar
Thus, even if I knew I was fake, I had no choice
but to play the role. Though I did have fun.
Caesar
By the way, do you know why they all think
I'm Santa Claus? I have no idea.

  1. I mean, you look just like...
  Select: I mean, you look just like...

Santa Alter
...l see. I'm forcing myself to wear this embarrassing
outfit, yet you don't have to do anything for children to
love you...
Santa Alter
I have no choice but to kill you!
For the sake of the world, and Santa Claus!
Caesar
Hahaha! That's the true Santa Claus for you!

Caesar
To be honest, I was getting tired of being mistaken for
Santa Claus and having to run away!

  1. Then stop causing trouble!
  Select: Then stop causing trouble!

Caesar
I'm bored, though!
Nero and Caligula won't play with me!
Caesar
And Cleopatra is avoiding me! How can I be Caesar if
I don't cause trouble for all these lovey-dovey couples!


  1. So you just have a grudge against people!?
  Select: So you just have a grudge against people!?

Caesar
Hahahaha! I guess you found me out!
It's time to fight, then!

Caesar
If I defeat you, I will take the presents,
and become the True Santa, that's fine with me!
Caesar
The throne of the rare Servant shall be mine!
Now hand it over, Dark Santa!
After Battle'
Caesar
Humph... The wind...stopped...
Is this the end...of my battle?
Caesar
But...it's not so bad... It was hard for me, too...
After falling at the hands of the true Santa, I can finally...

  1. Mr. Caesar...
  Select: Mr. Caesar...

Santa Alter
——Humph.

Caesar
Jump!
Hahaha! That was close! The snow is so slippery!
Santa Alter
He moves around so fast...
He's like a seal on ice!
Caesar
I'd prefer you called me a dancing snowman.
Hmm, but I can't stop. I can't stop!
Caesar
My plan to take over the role of protagonist
and grab the star of glory is ruined!
Caesar
But this is for the best!
Caesar
The star of the festival should be a beautiful Servant,
not someone like me!
Caesar
Farewell Dark Santa! Farewell Reindeer! The Christmas
night is at an end, and the 25th is upon us soon!
Caesar
Gather stockings, and a Christmas Eve miracle shall be
yours!
Santa Alter
...He rolled all the way home, huh?
We won't be able to catch him.
Santa Alter
But this solves the problem. The fake Santa is gone and
will never deceive people again.

  1. I don't think we're done with Caesar...
  Select: I don't think we're done with Caesar...

Santa Alter
...True. To be honest, when I heard fake,
I was imagining a different Roman emperor.
Santa Alter
There's another Red Saber...
Someday, I'll have to settle things with her.

Santa Alter
(Your Name), there's one night left.
There's still one Dear Santa letter.
Santa Alter
I look forward to finding out
what kind of child awaits us.


7th Night: Attack! The Alter Next Door

Show/Hide Story Chapter

Santa Alter
At last, it's time, (Your Name).
Tonight shall be our last and greatest work.
Santa Alter
The last "Dear Santa" letter
is from an Alter, address unknown.
Santa Alter
An evil Servant, crawling in the abyss of a curse...
In other words, like me.
Santa Alter
Her present request is for
A board game everyone can have fun playing together.
Santa Alter
It's a game like the Japanese sugoroku, where you roll
the dice to advance your piece, and buy up properties on
a game board.
Santa Alter
The players buy land, charging tolls and usage fees
to strip the other players of their fortunes and become
rich.
Santa Alter
There are many ways to clear the game, but the most
common is to reach a certain amount, or bankrupt all the
other players.
Santa Alter
Below us is a Servant who would desire such a game.
Exciting, isn't it?
Santa Alter
Let's go. Don't forget to smile.
Don't forget to pray. Don't forget to be sadistic.
Santa Alter
As Evil Santa Claus,
it's time for me to perform my last job!
Santa Alter
I have arrived!
Santa Clause descends to the sound of jingling bells!
Jeanne Alter
——This is awful. This is the worst.
The worst possible woman who could've come.

  1. Jeanne d'Arc Alter?  2. L-Lovely Christmas decorations!
  Select: Jeanne d'Arc Alter?

Jeanne Alter
I thought it was just that disgusting Servant,
but you're here too, huh (Your Name)?
Jeanne Alter
What does a pure-hearted Master
want with a fallen woman like me?
  Select: L-Lovely Christmas decorations!

Jeanne Alter
How?
What part of all this is luxurious?
Jeanne Alter
The spirits did this on their own.
It's not my taste. I would've used a burning stake motif.
Jeanne Alter
Or what? Will you be my straw doll
(Your Name)?
Jeanne Alter
A straw doll, crucified and burning.
I like that. It's enticing.
Jeanne Alter
If you will, I'll forget about what happened before.
It won't matter, because you'll be dead!


Santa Alter
Don't you dare bite my Master, rabid dog.
You're the one who sent me a letter.
Santa Alter
Heh—I was shocked when I saw the name on the
envelope. A girl who's nothing but hatred towards what
is good, making a wish?
Santa Alter
Also, the handwriting was very easy to read.
I thought you couldn't write.
Jeanne Alter
I studied! Is that bad!? Those scribblings I made
were so ugly it made me retch.
Santa Alter
Heh. That's just like you, getting rid of anything you
don't like.
Santa Alter
And why does it matter if they're ugly?
No one will see them.
Jeanne Alter
Humph. You're not thinking hard enough. I'm a
perfectionist. You know, if you sign a contract with bad
handwriting——
Jeanne Alter
...Enough about that.
Jeanne Alter
Why are you calling yourself Santa?
Bring out the real Santa.
Santa Alter
Are you blind? Or just stupid?
I've brought many presents to children.
Santa Alter
I may not be a Saint, but I'm a real Santa Claus.
(Your Name)'s trust is proof of that.
Santa Alter
The reason I started this was to fling this present
in your face, but now this is my real job.
Santa Alter
I can't be a Saint, but I'm not a fake.
Right, my Reindeer?

  1. Santa Alter is a real Santa Claus.  2. Santa Alter is a veteran Santa.
  Select: Santa Alter is a real Santa Claus.

Santa Alter
Indeed. You may deny my words, but not those
of (Your Name). Right, Dark Jeanne?
  Select: Santa Alter is a veteran Santa.

Santa Alter
I don't know if there are veteran Santas.
But maybe you're right.

Jeanne Alter
Hah—
I see. This is an elaborate way of pranking me, huh?
Jeanne Alter
You probably thought I was spending Christmas lonely
by myself, right?
Jeanne Alter
But too bad! I'm having fun every day!
Jeanne Alter
I've got so many
wonderful friends here with me!
Pierres A to G
Help me! "Help me!" "Help me!"
Help me! "Help me!" "Help me!"
Santa Alter
A horde of spirits?
You haven't been using them to——
Jeanne Alter
That's right! We're all having fun playing a board game!
Games are fun! Games are great!
Jeanne Alter
The weak endlessly trod the path of the weak,
and the strong endlessly take from the weaki
Jeanne Alter
Stealing the flesh and blood off the other players
as they scream and cry is wonderful.
Jeanne Alter
Yes—-— I am in first place by far! I have the most
capital! Monopoly is fun! Monopoly is great!
Santa Alter
Hmm? It doesn't seem like that much of a difference...
There's about a 10,000 dollar difference between 1st
and 2nd place——
Pierre D
Help me!
Jeanne Alter
!

  1. He just took the lead.  2. ...Jeanne owes Pierre a million dollars...
  Select: He just took the lead.


  Select: ...Jeanne owes Pierre a million dollars...


Jeanne Alter
Oh, I'm sorry. My hand slipped
Let's start over. Too bad!
Pierre D
Help me!}}
Santa Alter
...How wicked.
You haven't repented at all, have you?
Santa Alter
You'll never make any friends like this,
and you definitely won't get to be a Servant.
Jeanne Alter
Humph. I don't want to be a Servant.
Jeanne Alter
I don't need a Master.
Why would I want to join you, anyway?
Jeanne Alter
...I‘m fine being alone. I'm fine being alone.
I should atone for my sins all by myself.
Jeanne Alter
I don't want anyone's help—least of all the help of
(Your Name), the one who defeated me.

  1. ...Jeanne Alter...
 2. You need to play the game fair, though...
  Select: ...Jeanne Alter...

Jeanne Alter
Oh, are you sympathetic? Or disgusted?
It doesn't matter. You're annoying me anyway.
  Select: You need to play the game fair, though...
Jeanne Alter
How rude. I play fair!
Wait, is that what you're thinking about here!?
Jeanne Alter
I just used Jeanne Rule #3:
Jeanne gets to do whatever she wants three times!


Santa Alter
I guess nothing we say matters...
We'll have to fight.
Jeanne Alter
That's just what l want. Pierres, get ready.
You want to work off some of that stress, right?
Jeanne Alter
Torture them. Just like the trials
you gave to me in life! Torture them slowly!
Santa Alter
Humph, by the way... I've been wondering,
but did you forget how to talk like a Saint?
Jeanne Alter
Oh, I haven't forgotten. This is just for today.
I mean, you wouldn't want me using fancy words, right?
Jeanne Alter
Can't you tell? I'm trying to match you. I'm trying to
use words your puny, violent brain will understand!
Santa Alter
Because I was trying to match your level,
and it's been making me want to throw up.

  1. So you're both good friends!  2. You're both Alter!
  Select: So you're both good friends!


  Select: You're both Alter!


Santa Alter/Jeanne Alter
Would you shut up!?
Santa Alter
It must be hard. I understand your pain.
I recognize your frustration myself.
Jeanne Alter

After Battle
Humph. I guess that's all you can expect out of spirits.
The only ones I can rely on are Gilles and the wyverns.
Jeanne Alter
So, what will you do? Keep playing?
Jeanne Alter
I spend my days doing nothing but cursing
at the bottom of the Earth. I'll fight as much as you like.

  1. She hasn't changed at all...  2. She hasn't learned a thing.
  Select: She hasn't changed at all...


  Select: She hasn't learned a thing.

Santa Alter
That's right, (Your Name)
The battle will continue until we defeat her mentally.
Santa Alter
Losing won't teach her anything.
She'll just try and claim we never won.
Santa Alter
This particular child needs an
especially nasty punishment.
Jeanne Alter
...What?
Do you have some kind of trump card?
Santa Alter
Of course. Will you still talk about staying down here
forever after you get this present?

Gives

Jeanne Alter
———

  1. Oh, her expression changed.  2. Yeah, I kind of know how you feel.
  Select: Oh, her expression changed.


  Select: Yeah, I kind of know how you feel.


Santa Alter
How does it feel to look at your light... Light?
Well, I guess it's light.
Santa Alter
This is what will happen if you stay down here.
At this rate, there might even be Jeanne Lily.
Jeanne Alter
——I'm going back to purgatory.
I've got better things to do than play here.
Jeanne Alter
I ll build up my Spirit Origin and become a Servant,
and next time I'll impale that stupid wannabe Saint!
Pierres
Oooh! "We're free!" "We're free!"
We're saved! "Thank you!" "Thank you!"
Jeanne Alter
Oh, but first, l forgot something.
Jeanne Alter
Let's go, Bishop. You're going to help me with my trials
in purgatory, okay?
Pierres
Help me! "Help me!" "Help me!"
Help me! "Help me!" "Help me!"
Santa Alter
...All right. That's the last of the Dear Santa letters.
We've handed out all the presents.
Santa Alter
My job is done.
Good work, (Your Name).
Santa Alter
I couldn't have finished this without you.
Santa Alter
Without you, I would've given up
after the first person.
Santa Alter
...l may not look it, but I get bored easily
and have a short temper. I'm sure you didn't notice.

  1. Oh, yeah.  2. Sure, yeah.
  Select: Oh, yeah.


  Select: Sure, yeah.

Santa Alter
I like that. It's good for a Master to be able to get along
with their Servants.
Santa Alter
...
...
Santa Alter
...Hmm. So even that's not enough to get my point
across, huh? Fine. Get on your knees and lower your
head.
Santa Alter
I will point my sword at your shoulders, but I won't cut
you. Just bear it for a moment.
Santa Alter
—Once again, I recognize you,
(Your Name). I won't forget what has happened over these last
10 days.
Santa Alter
You are my knight, my follower, and my leader.
Santa Alter
Please keep your light shining
into the future.
Santa Alter
...N0w then, the time has come, it seems.
Our busy Christmas is over.
Santa Alter
I have one final present for you.
A justly deserved reward. Take it.
Santa Alter
...In other words, a new fighter.
I don't need to say anything more, do I?
Santa Alter
Chaldea's system has its flaws, so you'll have to start
over from scratch. But that's all right.
Santa Alter
Thanks to its flaws, and its vagueness,
so many encounters are possible. It's a good thing.
Santa Alter
My blade is with you!
You can ride on my sleigh any time you want!
Santa Alter
Farewell, my Master!
—Merry Christmas!
Mash
Senpai!?
Mash
Doctor, it's Senpai!
They suddenly appeared in an unoccupied bathroom!
Dr. Roman
What—!
Did that bathroom have a hidden room or something?

  1. My head feels... Weird...  2. I think I saw... Santa...
  Select: My head feels... Weird...


  Select: I think I saw... Santa...

Mash
Good, you seem like you're okay.
Oh, but this is—
Mash
Senpai is REM-REM-ing
and looking very tired.
Dr. Roman
ls that right? Long-term Rayshifts are mentally draining,
so it's good to get a lot of sleep, but...
Dr. Roman
Oh, their health looks okay.
Dr. Roman
I was worried when you grabbed me and told me
Chaldea was in trouble. I'm glad it was nothing.
Dr. Roman
And disappearing only to reappear later is quite the
Prestige! It'll be a great trick for the party!

  1. Party?  2. Wait, is today—
  Select: Party?


  Select: Wait, is today—

Mash
Yes, it's Christmas, Senpai.
Mash
Everyone's waiting for you in the conference room,
Christmas cake in hand.
Mash
...Master?
ls something bothering you?

  1. Nah. I've got a funny story to tell you later.
  Select: Nah. I've got a funny story to tell you later.


Mash
I look forward to that. I was a little worried
it would just be Da Vinci's magic tricks.
Mash
There are only a few days left in the year. Our battle
continues, but for tonight, let's enjoy Christmas!